back on the wagon

after a week of what i refer to as "emotional eating" i am now officially back on the vegan wagon. "emotional eating" is something that i've dealt with all my life and unfortunately for me i have to curb this tendency to eat under emotional duress with a strict diet. if i don't, i get fat. simple as that. i've always known i had this tendency but when i left pat i lost something like 30 pounds and that made me realize that when i am unhappy that "emotional eating" can get crazy out of control. i just don't even realize it. so my last "bad" meal consisted of a tuna melt, salad with ranch dressing, and a deliciously fattening coffee cake.

in a totally unrelated note, i had a dream that i was stuck in a tickle torture room last night. sounds odd, i know. but it was like any standard torture room except i was strapped down and there were various devices to tickle me with including feathers and the like. it's not some weird kinky sex dream, if that is what you are thinking. it was truly awful (anyone who has tried to tickle me knows how freakishly sensitive my skin is and i can take about 10 seconds of it before getting upset). i kicked, i cried, i screamed - it was awful. but the strangest thing is i woke up feeling like i shed some frustration. in light of how rarely i dream, i am pleased that it resulted in me feeling like i shed some emotional weight. i am feeling a bit lighter, more content, and less tense than i did yesterday. this is amazing considering i didn't fall asleep until 3 am due to an ill-advised cup of coffee at 9:30 pm.